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Arwen’s Journey: Thanksgiving


Many have been asking how Arwen is doing. Well, she’s an eleven-year-old girl who has undergone multiple, unsuccessful treatments for stage four neuroblastoma, so she shouldn’t be doing great. Yet, generally, she has been pretty well in terms of her general health and mood. She is closer to her family and the Lord than she has ever been and has recently been exercising the sense of humor that she inherited from her dad. She has recovered well from a surgery to her spine about five or six weeks ago. Her schooling (and that of the other children) has been often interrupted on a universal scale for far too many trips to the hospital over the past month or so – it is a two-and-a-half-hour drive, after all.
We have tried to keep up with homeschooling and have even joined a homeschool group to maintain some semblance of normalcy. It’s the regular interruption of “hospital trips” and Arwen’s periodic pain that remind us that this isn’t “normal life” and that we didn’t intend to be here or to live like this right now. I have been accepted in a part-time family medicine position. The paperwork process for that takes months, so I won’t start work until sometime next year, but we are thankful that God is providing a flexible job. In the meantime, I have been taking some theology courses online while Rebecca and I continue to work on our applications with the mission agency. Often, due to hospital stays, our family is spread out more than we are accustomed to. When we are all together, we continue to maintain our family devotions and discipleship.

There certainly are some rough days, emotionally speaking: moments where a couple of us will cry together. We are sometimes tempted to give in to fear or to the pride of believing that our own will should be done, but God patiently and tenderly shows us our need for Him and then gives us Christ’s own power to abandon ourselves in favor of trusting Him. I can honestly say that most of the time, we are joyful – recognizing that God is growing us and building us as witnesses of His wondrous grace.

We continue to miss our home and mission in Togo – praying that God might restore us to our work there – restore Arwen to her health. Rebecca and I were able to attend the Global Missions Health Conference in Louisville last week. We went in order to speak with others who are thinking and praying about medical mission work. We met several individuals and couples who encouraged us with their hearts for seeing Christ lifted up in Africa. An added blessing for us was that we had opportunity to visit with several of our dear friends from Togo. We were refreshed by fellowship with them.
After returning home to rest for a couple days, I will be taking Arwen down to the hospital tomorrow for a new treatment. She will be receiving high doses of targeted radiation. Essentially, the treatment is a chemical that recognizes Arwen’s type of cancer and targets those cells. It has been combined with a radioactive agent which is meant to kill the cancer cells after being absorbed by them. Her oncologists have told us that this is their last hope for Arwen (though we have a much, much deeper hope than they). Most likely, Arwen and I will spend the rest of this week in the hospital, come home for Thanksgiving week, and then return to the hospital to have stem cells infused until she is well enough to come home again. This treatment works half of the time.

We’ve been told by several people that Arwen’s faith and our family’s faith have been encouraging to many of you. We are heartened to hear that! If you haven’t read Arwen’s own account of this situation, I recommend that you take the time. You can find the article (written in July) here. I found myself envisioning Arwen being approached by someone someday in eternity to say that Arwen’s testimony of faith had been used by God to bring them to salvation. I was instantly struck by the selfish thought that it was unfair for God to put my daughter and my family in such tribulation to help others that I may not even know. She’s my daughter, I thought, but the rebuke came almost as immediately. Arwen belongs to the Lord. She’s given herself to Him, and she – like all creation – would belong to Him even if she hadn’t already given herself willingly. Of course, I repented, but such small moments are the essence of spiritual battle and the basis of all our attitudes to follow. Once again, I dedicate myself and my family to God, His will, and His glory. Rebecca went through something similar a few weeks ago. She was convicted that she did not have a heart of thanksgiving. She got on her knees and, through tears, thanked God for this very situation in which we find ourselves. This is a progression of refinement in our lives right now. There was dross in our hearts and lives that we could not have known was there save for this process of refinement. Yet, we are encouraged that what is left is a finer, purer gold: hearts made holy in the sight of God by the power of Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…

God has graced us with the expectation of a sixth child. Please pray for Rebecca. She was already struggling with her own health a while ago and we haven’t yet found the time (or more honestly, the energy) to see to anybody’s health other than Arwen’s. We are, however, joyful in this news and look forward to introducing the newest Mallay in June or July.

Pray also for our endurance. The battle at hand is no less difficult than when we first returned from Togo and learned of Arwen’s diagnosis, and small reprieve lends itself to weariness. Our confidence remains entirely in Christ, the first-born from the dead, and we renew our minds in the truth of God’s word. Thank you for your continued prayers, notes of encouragement, and financial help.

You can continue to pray for the ministry in Togo. The hospital is still in a place of need regarding medical staff, but we anticipate that God has marvelous plans for Togo. We pray that He would raise up those for whom He has prepared this work and that He would make Himself know in Togo.

Pray most of all that we, God’s church, would be unified in Christ, that our hearts would be full of thanksgiving, and that we would be able count every trial as joy.

Arwen's Journey: Next Steps

“I have found in David the son of Jesse a man after my heart, who will do all my will.”
     Acts 13:22

David’s life and deeds are worth pondering. I’ve been reading through 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles over the past few weeks. In the 12th chapter of 2 Samuel, David was about to lose his and Bathsheba’s first child, stricken ill as a consequence for David’s own sin. David was in absolute anguish. He spent seven days on the ground without food as he prayed to the Lord for his son’s deliverance. The baby died.

It’s rather a discouraging story on its face. I honestly can’t think of a loss greater than the early death of one’s own child. I’ve seen that sorrow firsthand. I was about five years old when I watched my own parents as well as my grandparents each suffer the loss of a child. I also think back on the Togolese mother who lost her baby in childbirth last Christmas. This is one of many examples, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget the contortion of absolute grief in that mother’s face when I told her that her baby had died. I wrote about that story in the post titled A Christmas Miracle. Naturally, such affliction is averted if at all possible, but for some it arrives all the same.

How does one approach the all-powerful, creator God who allowed such tragedy? I can assure you that there are as many reactions to grief as there are opportunities to express it. The element of David’s story that caught my eye this time was his response once his child had died. David got up, washed himself, and went to the house of the Lord and worshipped. David worshipped the Lord at the pinnacle of his sorrow. The very same God with whom he had just been pleading for the life of his child. That is a man seeking the heart of God. That is God's own power at work.

For our own child, for Arwen, we are still imploring the Lord to heal her body: we still believe we will see it. Yet in the slumps, after feeling the defeats, our ambition is to worship the Lord. After carrying Arwen into the emergency room covered in vomit, worship the Lord. After losing all her hair, worship the Lord. After holding her hand while she's screaming in pain, worship the Lord. After staying up all night for hospital admissions, worship the Lord.

Recently, Arwen had some scans repeated to assess the progress of her chemotherapy. By all appearances, there has been little to no change. After the misery of four cycles of chemo and all the associated side effects, we’re tempted again to be fearful and discouraged when we don’t see fruit. It is the Lord who truly sees and He who will be glorified. We know this to be true. We worship the Lord.

The next step in Arwen’s journey was supposed to be a near total surgical removal of the main tumor. The expectation was that everything would have diminished in size. Since that is not the case, the operation will go on as scheduled, but likely will not result in removal of as much cancer. The next phase of therapy would have been stem cell transplant with immunotherapy in the distant future. Based on the scan results, however, the immunotherapy will be moved up and stem cell transplant postponed. All of this is just man’s small part. The Lord is indeed our Shepherd – we will not want for anything.



We have enjoyed a couple of weeks home together as a family. Arwen has been feeling mostly well and usually is in good spirits. A few weeks ago, on a day when Arwen was actually feeling particularly ill, it was her turn to pray for someone during family devotions. Generally we think of a friend or missionary family to pray for. Arwen prayed for her mom and dad...we cried as she prayed for our strength and encouragement. These are honestly very precious moments as we spend time together and continue in family devotion together. We are learning new things about the grace that God extends toward us. Scripture repeats often that God’s love is steadfast and that his mercies are unending. We encourage you all to turn your face toward Him no matter the circumstance. Worship the Lord.

Prayer requests:
We do not yet have a time but expect Arwen’s operation to take place in Ann Arbor on May 9th.

We fight discouragement whenever we hold onto a hope or a plan that is taken from us. Would that our only hope was in Christ.

God has provided for our living in the US and we expect that He will continue to meet our needs.

www.mallaysonamission.com

Arwen's Journey

In the event that you have not yet heard, our oldest daughter, Arwen, has been diagnosed with stage four neuroblastoma. She has since undergone her first cycle of chemotherapy at Mott Children's in Ann Arbor, Michigan, after which we were discharged from the hospital. Her treatment plan over the next eighteen months includes four more cycles of chemotherapy, surgery, high dose chemotherapy with stem cell transplants, radiation, and immunotherapy. The prognosis is fifty or sixty percent chance of survival. Those are, of course, human terms, and we serve a God who is not limited by statistics.

Arwen has had some good days and some bad days. She tolerated the chemotherapy with varying levels of discomfort and pain. We were heartbroken at times to watch Arwen suffer, but our prayer with her has been one of thanks to God for an opportunity to worship Him in the midst of trials. Arwen's spirit has been holding up quite well - she has been very brave and a good witness of Christ in her.


We have been blessed and humbled by the outpouring of support for our family. So many of you have been praying for us and giving to us, and we are so very thankful for you. Please accept our apologies if we haven't thanked you personally or responded to your inquiries. Everything has been such a whirlwind. Our immediate need for a vehicle has been met. Also, we have arrangements with several families so that a place to stay when we are in Ann Arbor for treatment will not be an issue. We are, however, still looking for permanent housing near family in Mt Pleasant, Michigan. We are blessed to have a place to stay this month which is not far from family.
To each of you who have been our friends and support, thank you. The body of Christ is truly a loving family.


Our ministry plans have been detoured by this whole affair. For those of you who have been faithfully supporting us through Samaritan's Purse, you have some options. Samaritan's Purse will continue to hold our account with them indefinitely. What this means is that all the finances that have been donated to us or that will be donated to us through them will be available to us whenever we are able to return to our missions work. If you wish, you may continue to give to us through Samaritan's Purse and any donations will eventually be used for our ministry but will not be available to us now. If you prefer to support us during our time here in the US, you can give through a GoFundMe account that has been set up for us here: https://www.gofundme.com/arwensjourney or you may email us at mallaysonamission@gmail.com for an address to which you may send any donations. We do plan to apply to serve in Togo again with ABWE, but are not sure of any timelines due to Arwen's need for treatment. Anything given through Samaritan's Purse in the meantime would eventually be transferred over to our new mission.

Our hearts have sometimes been heavy through these last weeks: emotions changing on a minute by minute basis. We are learning again to give over to God all that is already His. The hospital in Togo is struggling, and we would not have chosen to leave at a time like this, but the hospital is God's. It belongs to Him and we place it in His hands. We feel that we've abandoned our friends, but they too belong to God. They are not ours to save. We hand them over to the Lord. Our daughter has been entrusted to our care, but she is not ours. We place Arwen into His capable hands. He is the God who heals! He also has the right to take back what He has given. Arwen has been entrusted to us for these ten years, and those years have been a blessing and a privilege. We learn from Christ's example in prayer. In Luke 22, Jesus asks the Father to take away the cup of suffering if that is in the Father's will. We are free to ask for what we want! We are asking for Arwen's healing. We believe she will be healed. Yet, Jesus also prays that his own will would not be done if it is not also the Father's will. "Not my will, but yours be done." Can I trust God so much as to ask Him to not carry out my will? The other day Arwen herself said this: "I'm going to be healed either way. Healed here or healed in heaven. I hope I can be healed here."

In the middle of Lamentations, a book of the Bible filled with sorrow and anguish, the author pauses to look toward the Lord rather than on his misery and says this:

But this I call to mind,
    and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
                              -Lamentations 3:21-23

Our prayer is that through all of these difficulties, the Almighty would work in our hearts so that we can continue to look toward Him rather than our trials. We place our hope on the solid rock of our salvation and wish not to be tempted to hope on any lesser thing. We make our prayer one of thanksgiving to the Lord and we pray that His mighty power would be made evident in our lives and circumstances.

Here are some ways you can be praying:
For trusting hearts of thanksgiving
That the Mallay family would be a witness of Christ's own work
Healing for Arwen - immediate or with treatments
For the family's physical and spiritual health
That treatments would kill the cancer and not harm Arwen
That Arwen might keep her hair
No pain, nausea, or itching
That God would continue to provide
For clarity and provision in housing near family
For the hospital in Togo


We do hope to speak at our church in Hillsdale later this month. We'll keep our facebook page updated with any definite plans: facebook.com/mallays